Update 4-27-12

Hey my Rainbowz :)

I still don't know if anyone is actually reading this out there, I haven't gotten any comments. However I will still write. I love the girl I told you about, she means everything to me. When you find love that's more important than yourself sometimes it feels. IDK, go with your heart.

Perfectly Caught In The Middle

Who do I choose? Who do I love? Who do I really want anymore? It's a question for someone caught in the middle, like me- I am Cerraya; bisexual, and stuck perfectly in the middle of a decision. Love is not something you choose, or get to change your mind about (when it comes to who, that person is- that you love). Love is undoubtedly surprising, amazing, and horrible. I love someone very much, she is everything to me, but now lately I've been feeling a pull in the other direction- a boy. I've liked him for some while, but it was just a crush. Now it has developed into something stronger, he has been my friend for a while, and first I just called him my gay because he is bisexual- like myself. But somehow I started feeling more, I liked the way he would call me every night, how he started calling me Cerraya instead of Mckayla, before most people, and the way he pronounced it (as "Soar-I-Uh") when it really sounds like "Sir-A-Uh." I liked how  he hugged me for a longgggg time everytime I saw him at school, and how much he cared about me. Flirting was fun, but eventually things were awkward because I told him I liked him. Then I felt weird whenever I saw him because I couldn't act normal now, I was soooo worried about my appearance around him, even though he never judged me, I didn't want him to see me looking anything but gorgeous. He is the kind of guy to stare into your eyes when you speak to him, and he really listens. Maybe it is because he is a bisexual guy, so he doesn't feel the asshole-ness of straight guys who's eyes wander when you try to have a conversation with them... I don't know. I mean, if you like a guy- then if his eyes are wandering it's not exactly a bad thing, it can be a good thing. A guy who stares into your eyes when you talk to him though is a keeper and it makes me nervous. The whole time I talk to him I feel like he is absorbing every stupid little chick thing I say, so it worries me... What is he thinking the whole time as I go on and on? I have laughed out of anxiousness and tried to remain cute, wondering what he is thinking about everything... I hate it and I love it, and I get insecure if I know I am hanging out with him at school or if I see him. It's so dumb!! How am I supposed to understand if I love the girl I told you about if I am majorly crushing on him???? Is it normal to like someone yet love someone at the same time?? It's so confusing, is it possible? Is it wrong?

Can I really love two people at once? When only one loves me back?

4-2-12 (posted late) Do what makes you happy (:

Hello my rainbowzz!

Sitting in math class the day back from spring break is so boring. I despise geometry. 

Today I am meeting with my friend whom I haven't met yet, her and I have a mutual friend, we speak on the phone a lot and FB too. I'm not sure if she knows about my movement, but she is a GLBTQ. A rainbow (: 

She knows about my rapping and has listened to it some. She likes it as much as my other friends, and pretty much everyone has heard me now because I'm on soundcloud.com and grooveshark.com 

(www.soundcloud.com/cerrayaslaughtersyou)

(/http://grooveshark.com/#!/search?q=cerrayaslaughtersyou) 

I rap about being bisexual and the gay community, a lot. Obviously this contrasts the interests and attitude of the very nature of rap itself. But I am strong and confident, assured that I can and will, and I  do, bring bisexuality to the table of issues discussed more often in rap. Never let somebody tell you that a certain style of music is limited to an extent of what it talks about. ever. You do what you want, you follow what makes you happy, if you have true passion about something you will bloom more than you would if you were pursuing something that didn't make you happy.

-Cerraya

Fuck Homophobic Slurs

My Original Logo I made for KTR 

Hey my Rainbowzzz!!! 

So I have no idea if I have any followers yet but..... I'd like you guys to start spreading the word about my blog! :) just send the link around, or share on Facebook and Twitter: 

http://kisstherainbowglbtqacceptancemovement.blogspot.com 

SOOOO anyways, here's the deal- Kiss The Rainbow is against gay slurs, if you follow my movement on any of these social networking sites or just right here, then you know this. If you say them but you wanna follow my movement, then this is a great time to start improving yourself by stopping the use of those words by not only yourself but hopefully others. You know its wrong to slur the gay community, especially if you're a part of it. It is so easy for me to stand up for our community, you need to- too, seriously this is a part of Kiss The Rainbow (KTR) all you gotta do is speak up against the gay slurs when you hear them. 

Here are some of our banned Gay Slurs in KTR:

• Faggot (fag)
• Dyke
• Sodomite 
• Queers (in negative context)
• Homo (in negative context)  

Here are some of our banned phrases that slur the gay community: 

• "That's so gay"
• "That's so homo"