Perfectly Caught In The Middle

Who do I choose? Who do I love? Who do I really want anymore? It's a question for someone caught in the middle, like me- I am Cerraya; bisexual, and stuck perfectly in the middle of a decision. Love is not something you choose, or get to change your mind about (when it comes to who, that person is- that you love). Love is undoubtedly surprising, amazing, and horrible. I love someone very much, she is everything to me, but now lately I've been feeling a pull in the other direction- a boy. I've liked him for some while, but it was just a crush. Now it has developed into something stronger, he has been my friend for a while, and first I just called him my gay because he is bisexual- like myself. But somehow I started feeling more, I liked the way he would call me every night, how he started calling me Cerraya instead of Mckayla, before most people, and the way he pronounced it (as "Soar-I-Uh") when it really sounds like "Sir-A-Uh." I liked how  he hugged me for a longgggg time everytime I saw him at school, and how much he cared about me. Flirting was fun, but eventually things were awkward because I told him I liked him. Then I felt weird whenever I saw him because I couldn't act normal now, I was soooo worried about my appearance around him, even though he never judged me, I didn't want him to see me looking anything but gorgeous. He is the kind of guy to stare into your eyes when you speak to him, and he really listens. Maybe it is because he is a bisexual guy, so he doesn't feel the asshole-ness of straight guys who's eyes wander when you try to have a conversation with them... I don't know. I mean, if you like a guy- then if his eyes are wandering it's not exactly a bad thing, it can be a good thing. A guy who stares into your eyes when you talk to him though is a keeper and it makes me nervous. The whole time I talk to him I feel like he is absorbing every stupid little chick thing I say, so it worries me... What is he thinking the whole time as I go on and on? I have laughed out of anxiousness and tried to remain cute, wondering what he is thinking about everything... I hate it and I love it, and I get insecure if I know I am hanging out with him at school or if I see him. It's so dumb!! How am I supposed to understand if I love the girl I told you about if I am majorly crushing on him???? Is it normal to like someone yet love someone at the same time?? It's so confusing, is it possible? Is it wrong?

Can I really love two people at once? When only one loves me back?